Jataka Tales

WARNING- GRAPHIC CONTENT

 

Remember those stories we read as children? The one in which anthromorphic animals were the main characters and the story always had a moral? The stories that came with illustrations in thin, glossy books? They were Jataka Tales.

Recently I created one that could be counted as one of those. It has an animal, actually a reptile as the characters, and an ending that is an invaluable lesson in this age. With actual photographs instead of illustrations. Let's begin.

Once upon a time, there was a boy lizard who hit puberty. Let's call him Biswajit Panda. He got curious about the birds and the bees, having fully developed sexual organs and all. One fine day in the summer, he ventured out of the hole in the wall that he called home, into the big bad world called room no. B-60. That world was ruled by a towering giant, who literally laughed out loud whenever he would see lizards having sex.

One day, while turning a corner while in pursuit of a particularly juicy insect, he bumped into this beatiful she-lizard, just as in Bollywood movies. Let us call her Abhipsa Behera.

Biswajit(left), Abhipsa(right)

After that initial meeting, Biswajit and Abhipsa kept bumping into each other more often. Before you knew it, they were doing each other more frequently than Yousuf Pathan hits sixes. 

Things were smooth. Biswajit and Abhipsa graduated, both got a job (Biswajit got an actual one, Abhipsa got one done on her boobs) and and got hitched. They were as happy as they could be. That was until a year after their marriage. Then the sex got boring. They would still have sex, but it became monotonous. That's when these minor tussles between the two erupted into full-blown clicking competitions. They were desperate to spice things up and save their marriage.

 

One day, while lying in bed, Biswajit said to Abhipsa,"Let's try something new."
"What?",Abhipsa replied.
"The towering giant has got a funny machine which contains a large volume of water and spews out cool air. I reckon he calls it a 'cooler'"
"So?"
"Let's do it in there."

And so, Abhipsa and Biswajit proceeded to fornicate in the cooler. They knew a cooler was a very dangerous place. They were aware that it had a device that moved very fast and could dismember you if one would get caught in it. They managed to negotiate that initial problem. But, the bigger problem was, those sick fucks never studied biology in college. So, they never knew that lizards did not have gills. They died a bitter death while making sweet love. But at least they spent their last moments together. And pissed of the giant by making him dispose of their carcasses.

Moral Of The Story : Practise safe sex.