Writing Practice

I had a sudden realization today and I really identify with Chandler from friends. All these days, I had been saying to myself that I do not care about work because I never dreamed about end to end delay or audio/video quality. Sadly, I realized that I do deeply care about some things, and I caught myself pining to go back to work and see through the task I had left unfinished. Maybe, it is the satisfaction derived from being productive, of having seen a difficult task through with good results to show for my efforts. How pathetic. Pathethic because if true, I had to wait for such a long time since my birth for this. I am only fully revelling in this experience now. Maybe this is why I turn to cleaning and other household chores during those now ever-so-frequent, spontaneous and short-lived moments of personal crises. If only I had the testosterone and adrenaline rush of the days of my early youth, which I mistook for sheer will, to actually get those things done which have no immediate payoffs, but are nevertheless very important. What I need now is a source of suffering so devastating that it catalyses my ongoing efforts to keep myself from being distracted. I can only write this measly stub of paragraph for now because of said state of being distracted.

Watching Movies Alone

Disclaimer : This post is most definitely not worth reading. This is just an exercise.

Everyone seems to have an instinctive reaction that stops them from going to the movies alone. That is crazy because going to the movies is not a group activity. Playing team sports is a group activity and there's a very good reason why a football match is called off when the number of players in a team drops below a number. The reason is, continuing with that activity beyond such a point is so difficult and idiotic that if you were to continue, you would very rightly be called manly.

That is thankfully not true of watching movies at a theatre. Thing is, people think going to a theatre is like going to a pub or a disco. It's not. Stag entries are allowed at theatres, aren't they? Unlike a disco or a pub, does the movie watching experience at a theatre depend on the quality or quantity of the people accompanying you? It does not. Even if nobody brings friends who have an odd sense of humour to the movies, people who laugh at all the wrong parts still manage show up. The movie watching experience will largely remain the same.

I have absolutely no problems with going to the movies alone, but that is primarily because of the definition of manliness as stated in the first para. What I find disturbing is my parent’s reaction to the whole affair. My parents belong to that generation that firmly believe that praying daily, polishing one's boots daily, etc. are "character-building" activities. My parents regularly "encouraged"(threatened) me to "invest"(waste) my time in such character-building activities. And somehow, going to the movies alone does not fall into the category of character-building activities! They think it is necessary to accompany me even if they don't like the movie. I have (obviously) used this to my advantage and now my parents accompany me, but they usually watch some other movie simultaneously in the multiplex.

A hypothesis on why the seediest places have the best food and tea

Last Sunday I walked in all, 12 kilometers, just so I can taste good tea. Let me digress to say I envy motherfornicators like N.D. Tiwari who has everything intact at that age, because tea is the kryptonite to my digestive system. And I'm only in my early twenties. Let's put it this way, being in my vicinity after I have had tea on an empty stomach is the closest you'll come to experiencing a spirit bomb.

After I had walked around 5 kilometers, I finally reached the place and it was the dirtiest, blackest, seedy lair of eagles and carrion eaters (there was a beef market on that road) and flies. It made the the famous/notorious toilet scene from Trainspotting look tame in comparison. That's when I knew I was going to have the best tea I have had in quite some time there.

See, it's like this. When you live in a place like that, you know you're fucked. The pavement is as black as the road, the only way you can tell them apart is because of the cesspool in the gutters. All sorts of carrion eating creatures are visible, which means if you are brave enough, you'll be rewarded with the sight of a dumping ground of unwanted flesh, hide and bones. I'm squeamish already.

To add to that, you don't have enough disposable income to buy contraceptives and to keep your half dozen kids in school. Buying a truck to transport your populous family when you are not using it to transport freshly butchered meat is your idea of a good investment. Womens' idea of freedom is being let out of the house to buy groceries without a man having to supervise you.

When you are in a place like that you don't want to live. You secretly wish your life expectancy is much shorter than average. You want to die. You wish your adversaries and arch-nemesis live to a ripe old age. You want to die that bad. And when you are so desperate for it to end, you want it to end with a bang.

That's when I knew I'd be having great tea. I had two cups and a samosa.