India Shining?

The Uttar Pradesh State Government is taking up education seriously. The State's Education Board has announced that a new NIT will be set up, obviously named Mayawati NIT(henceforth referred to as MNIT) in honour of the Cheif Minister of UP. The MNIT will include new courses like B.Tech in EVM Rigging, MSc. in Statistics of Vote-Bank Politics, and the ultra-modern, MBA in Goon Management. The campus shall be built on a site where a Government funded shelter for the homeless is located, but only after it has been bulldozed to the ground. Admission to MNIT shall be based strictly on merit, altough some concessions have been made for non-Dalit students who are also good at studies by reserving 10% of the total seats for them.

The campus will boast of modern facilities. There shall be daily practise sessions for rioting and lathi-charging for future politicians on the 2 acres of land stolen from the Railway Board. There shall be various clubs in the college that shall be sponsored by the BSP. These shall primarily deal with recent trends like how to misuse the NSA,Dalit Act(check out link#1 & link#2),etc, embezzlement of state funds, how to use national monuments to start scams,etc.

Students practising rioting in their spare time

The campus life and culture in MNIT will be markedly different than those in other Institutes. The freshers' ragging will include them having to utter slang words like BC, at which the freshers' response is expected to be,"Hum Behenji ke baare me aisi baat kaise kar sakte hain?". The seniors' reply to this is expected to be,"Karega toh Behenji tera ghar jala degi!!". Another different facet of the campus culture is the way birthdays are celebrated here. Normally, people get beaten up like donkeys on their birthdays and are looted of all their cash in the name of birthday treats. But, MNIT is going to set a new trend. The person whose birthday it is will go about searching for his friends, dragging them out of thier rooms and beating them and extorting money from them for celebrating his birthday.(check out link)

Of course, no educational institute is complete without teaching as well as non-teaching faculty. The faculty shall be transfered every 2-3 months for "transparency" and "smooth functioning" of the Institute. In fact, even the Director of the Insitute shall also be changed every 4 months depending on whether the person in question has commited the least number of murders/has the least number of cases pending against him.

Shahabuddin, the next Director? Ex-MP, currently serving a life sentence for kidnapping with intent to murder.

Last, but most importantly, there will be 100% placement at MNIT. Those who could not crack the selection "process" for the BSP will be magically placed in various other Government jobs with either the Police, IAS, HC or the IT Department.

The MNIT is expected to be set up very quickly, with reports indicating that permit has been granted after Mayawati bribed Sonia with the offer of erecting one statue of Rajiv Gandhi for every three statues erected of herself.

Hamaara haath, Mayawati ke saath?