The Wait

He was like any other child. Until his teens that is. It was in his teens that he first faced this problem. It was his heart. His heart constantly pined for something. What it was that his heart pined for, he did not know. Many a days were spent gazing absently at inanimate objects and the sky in hope of divine intervention. 
His heart lurched in his chest, it revolted violently. It would not permit him to complete any task. At first, it would become very excited to. But later, it always deceived him, deciding that what lay at the end was not what it pined for. It would wait till he would rest, midway through the task, when his guard was down. And then, it would scream savagely. Midway through the task he would be reminded of that thing he could not have. Thus, he would be cheated of the fruits of his labour. Never, even by mistake, or out of pity, did it ever grant him a happy moment. Very soon, his heart demanded everything he had. All his faculties were focussed on his heart. Day or night, asleep or awake, he was always engaged in asking his heart what it pined for. But his heart was stubborn. Not once did it disclose the secret. Slowly, his heart lost patience with him, and he with his heart.
He had learned from an ascetic that there was a way to get rid of one's heart. But what exactly the procedure was, the ascetic did not know. He was instructed to travel to a far off land, where lived an ancient tribe that practised the dark arts. So, leaving behind his family, home, friends and everything he held dear, he left for that distant land. The journey was in itself very treacherous, filled with numerous temptations. He encountered many people who were headed for the same destination. But he beat them all and reached the destination first. He learned that to get rid of his heart, he would have live in complete isolation. He had to study the voluminous scriptures of the tribe while in isolation. And so, study the scriptures he did. The scriptures were filled with all things evil about the universe. It taught him about the malice in even the seemingly good things. In time, it taught him to manipulate ideas to justify what he was doing. It strengthened his brain to the point where it could oust the heart out of his body. And thus, he got rid of his heart.
Free of this bondage, he was happy for the first time in his life. He was no longer tortured by emotions and could complete any task that he took up. He completed many tasks that he had abandoned previously. To see a task to completion gave him immense satisfaction. He tried new things in life. His brain would give him a very strong rationale for doing whatever he wanted to do. But then, he faced new problems. Even tough he had very strong reasons and ideas to continue what he was doing, he was no longer interested. The hope that the next task may be that what his heart pined for was long gone. He was lost. Directionless, he lost the will to live. He wanted his heart back. But, the effects of the dark arts were irreversible. There was no way to get his heart back, except for starting all over again. But his brain, that loathsome coward, regardless of how hard he tried, refused to provide him with a reason to end his life. The very rationale that enabled him to terminate his tasks was hindering his termination.Trapped, and a slave of his brain, he was left with no choice but to wait for his death and start over again.

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